Friday, September 13, 2024

The Eternal Tug-of-War: Self-Discipline vs. Creativity

 Every morning, I wake up with the best of intentions. I have a neat little timetable, written the night before, staring back at me. It's a masterpiece of organization, if I may say so myself. The first hour? I’m a productivity machine! But then… the crash.

Disaster strikes, usually in the form of an email or an innocent search. One link leads to another, and before I know it, I'm waist-deep in a rabbit hole, surrounded by articles, videos, and the occasional cat meme. My day’s plan? It’s not just off-track—it’s in the trash.


Tomorrow will be better, right? That's what I tell myself.


Ah, The Glory Days...

Once upon a time, I was a disciplined machine, especially during my last year as a physics student. The photo of my journal from that time would make even the most hardcore planners weep with joy. 


My life had structure, precision, and—dare I say—perfection.

But then came a revelation, one that turned my orderly world upside down: creativity doesn’t always follow a plan. As I entered the world of science, I realized that the magic of new discoveries often comes when you veer off the path. Suddenly, “following the clues” meant abandoning the plan and embracing the chaos.


Living in the Tension

Since then, my life has been a never-ending tension between these two forces: the need for self-discipline and the irresistible pull of spontaneous creativity.

It’s a battle. One day, the disciplined side wins; the next, the creative chaos takes over. And it seems like lately, chaos has been putting up quite the fight. To make sense of it all, I decided to seek advice from someone who understands this inner conflict. Enter: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.


Enter the Resistance

Pressfield's book is a game-changer. Right from the start, he explains that the moment you embark on any ambitious journey—be it writing, creating, starting a business, or just trying to stick to a diet—you will meet a formidable enemy: Resistance.

Here is Pressfield's list of activities that attract immediately the Resistance:

  • 1)  The  pursuit  of  any  calling  in  writing,  painting,  music, film,  dance,  or  any  creative  art,  however  marginal  or unconventional.
  • 2)  The  launching  of  any  entrepreneurial  venture  or enterprise,  for  profit  or  otherwise.
  • 3)  Any  diet  or  health  regimen.
  • 4)  Any  program  of  spiritual  advancement.
  • 5)  Any activity whose  aim is  tighter abdominals.
  • 6)  Any  course  or  program  designed  to  overcome  an unwholesome  habit  or  addiction.
  • 7)  Education  of  every  kind.
  • 8)  Any act of political,  moral, or ethical courage,  including the  decision  to  change  for  the  better  some  unworthy pattern  of  thought  or  conduct  in  ourselves.
  • 9)  The  undertaking  of  any  enterprise  or  endeavor  whose aim is to  help others.
  • 10)  Any  act  that  entails  commitment  of  the  heart.  The decision  to  get  married,  to  have  a  child,  to  weather  a rocky patch  in  a  relationship.
  • 11) The taking of any principled stand in the face of adversity.

Resistance is sneaky. It’s that invisible force that distracts you, convinces you to procrastinate, and makes the couch look way more appealing than your to-do list. You can’t see it or touch it, but you can feel it—oh boy, can you feel it.

We often think the distractions are external—email notifications, social media, that random video about baby sloths. But Pressfield is clear: Resistance comes from within. It’s the internal saboteur, the enemy lurking in the shadows, waiting to throw you off course.


The Many Faces of Resistance

Resistance is crafty. It’ll take on any form necessary to stop you. Maybe it pretends to be a lawyer, convincing you with logical arguments about why now isn’t the right time to start that project. Or perhaps it shows up as a stick-up man, holding a metaphorical gun to your head and demanding that you Twitter-binge instead of write that chapter.


And the worst part? Resistance lies. It’ll say
anything to keep you from doing the work.


But Wait, There’s More…

Pressfield’s ideas about Resistance reminded me of another thinker—Boris Mouravieff. In his work Gnosis, Mouravieff (of Gurdjieff circle) takes it a step further, suggesting, between the lines, that these forces of Resistance might not just be psychological—they could be hyperdimensional. Yep, you heard that right. According to him, there might be an “Intelligence” whose job is to keep us from growing, both psychologically and spiritually.

Both Good and Evil may well reside in higher dimensions. I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse, but it’s an intriguing thought. With the help of hyperdimensional forces we can develop higher centers and use obstacles to learn and to grow.


Embracing the War

Regardless of whether Resistance is a personal psychological battle or part of a larger cosmic game, Pressfield’s advice resonates deeply with me. As I continue to navigate the tension between too much order and too much chaos, The War of Art offers a kind of road map for this internal battleground.

And perhaps, tomorrow, I’ll win the day a little more. Or maybe not. But hey, the war continues—and that’s what makes life interesting, right?


Final Thoughts: If you, like me, are grappling with that constant tension between self-discipline and creativity, I recommend giving The War of Art a read. 


Who knows? It might just help you declare victory over Resistance… or at least win a few battles along the way.

P.S. 13-09-24 13:14

From Boris Mouravieff, Gnosis, Vol. I




"The black arrows represent influences created within life by life itself, this is the first variety of influence by which man is surrounded. These are called 'A' influences. We will notice that they are distributed almost equally over all the surface of the circle of life. As in the case of all radiant energy in nature, their effect is inversely proportional to the square of the distance; thus man is subject most of all to arrows influencing him from those immediately around him. He is pulled every instant by the way they act at that moment.

The influence of the 'A' arrows on exterior man is imperative; driven, he wanders in the circle of his life from birth to death, following a broken line which is sometimes subject to dangerous changes of direction. The ensemble of 'A' influences forms the Law of Chance or Law of Accident. Man is subject to its rule, yet if we examine the figure more closely we will perceive that each black arrow is counterbalanced, neutralized in some other part by another arrow equal in force and diametrically opposed, so that if we had left them to effectively neutralize each other the resultant force would have been equal to zero. This means that in their ensemble the 'A' influences are illusory in their nature, although the effect of each one of them is real, so that exterior man takes them for reality.

The white circle represents the esoteric Centre, located outside the general laws of life. The white arrows represent influences called 'B'. These influences are thrown into the turmoil of life and originate from the esoteric Centre, treated outside life, these arrows are all oriented in the same direction. In their ensemble they form a sort of magnetic field. " 

P.S. 13-09-24 14:24 While writing this post I followed the creative part instead of exercising self-discipline. I am also reading another self-help type of a book: "Accidental genius : revolutionize your thinking through private writing", by Mark Levy.. Following the advice from this book I did my 15 minutes freewriting session this morning. It was successful, I managed to organize my thought about what to write in today's blog. Came out beautiful. I knew what to write and how (about another sin of quantum mechanics). Except that when I started writing the post, I decided to choose a completely different subject! My post has nothing to do with what I have planned to write about! Is it good or bad? I don't know. To decide it will require another session of freewriting!

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